Rough few days

I'm starting to struggle again. I am enjoying gardening and making over my flat but I'm not doing so good. I'm not suicidal or anything but sadness is coating my heart and my body is sore. Chronic pain and flashbacks unfortunately completely debilitating for me. I have been online shopping like I'm not broke but even impulsively shopping is not the same with delayed delivery. I'm struggling to go outside, had the police harass me for sitting at the beach, a whole bunch of witnesses but did anyone say anything nope.