Alien 2/55

Alien

People often ask me

why I'm here

Why are YOU

 HERE?

You in all your colourful blackness

Why is your dark brown skin disrupting our normal

It's what passes for small talk

It still knocks the life right out of me

Strips me of the little skin

I managed to grow since the last time

Slow and lengthwise

I get it I jut out

Too magick to be real

Tightly weaved white communities

Suspicious of this extraterrestrial

Too human for white minds

Panic always in my eyes

I say concentration camp

You say direct provision

I say concentration camp

You say refugee camps

I say we are dying

You say we too we're slaves too

I say that's just nazi propaganda

You make it your Irish identity

Like you could ever understanding 

Living this life

Surviving with that noose softly swinging over your head

We're out here

The survivors of the epidemic

Of the white nationalism

That poses as revolution here

But everyone stares

I feel every stare as a reminder

I was brought here to be gawked at

Naked

Traded

Stripped of selves

In name, in root, in home

Our heart's too fearful

Yes, even feral heart's love

The fear always in our eyes 

Only topped by othering white eyes

A sad black ghost just wanderin

I lie

I say i came here with an ex

I say i came here for a job

I lie 

It's not my lie

Not my shame

Not my crime

But still my pain

one I recoil into too often

But it fills me with bile

I've tried to drown it, with drugs and alcohol

In vague stories and it hurts

Tears away at me from within

"Trafficked" seems such a heavy word

Somehow it must be my fault

My brain is trained to say

It all came crashing down

I wanted to love it here

There in the timelessness of flashbacks

A human that cant translate

Herself to Irish

Here I was just crying into the wind

Here I have to argue for my human

Beginning to understand

Why i felt so lost and helpless

Unable to make roots

So pained and alien

And in the hurt you have his voice

I hear him resurrected in every

Off hand anti black remark

It has made me cold, confused and lost

My heart working overtime

To stave off the cold

I hear the blood of my ancestors

Fertilizing your green green island

You say we weren't here

I smell their blood on your breathe

🖤🧜🏾‍♀️🖤